Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
