Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
