Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you win again, gameday.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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