I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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