Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
