All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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