The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
