On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
