It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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