Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
