Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
