I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
