Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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