woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
