My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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