so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
