I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
