Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
