I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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