Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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