Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
