So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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