Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
