just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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