youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
