Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
