You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am midnight drunk by noon
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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