areolas are like halos for boobs.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
