Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize