Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
