That's intense
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
