I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
