i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
