Are we in a gay sports bar?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She just used a chaser for red wine.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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