Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
