Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
