She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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