It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
