Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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