spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
