Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
