why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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