I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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