After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I could make wine with my vomit
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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