All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
