You made me cry and you don't even care
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
