i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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