imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
