I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
