so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
