He had one of those small greek statue penises
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
