never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
