But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Boobs are out for the taking
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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