Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
