did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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