Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
