Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
