remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
