He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
