Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
