Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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