My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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