I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
