We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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